The Asymptote: Addressing and Managing Impostor Syndrome

~ sparedbygrace@yahoo.com

Truth accurately describes reality. That simple statement sounds almost self-evident, yet one’s ability to accurately perceive reality is often more complicated than we would like to admit. We use tools to help us determine whether our perceptions are accurate. A tape measure reminds us to “measure twice and cut once.” A level tells us whether something is plumb or whether we are half a bubble off—or sometimes a whole lot more.

Mathematics is often regarded as the closest thing to proof and certainty that human beings possess. Mathematical conclusions are derived through formal logic from explicitly stated axioms—propositions regarded as established, accepted, or self-evidently true. If the logic is valid and the premises are true, the conclusion necessarily follows. Yet even mathematics has its limits as a metaphor for human knowledge. We rarely have complete information, and our perceptions, assumptions, and interpretations are not always accurate.

This brings us to the idea of an asymptote. In mathematics, an asymptote is a line that a curve approaches arbitrarily closely but never actually reaches or reaches only at infinity. The concept has sometimes been used metaphorically in philosophy and theology to describe our pursuit of truth or perfection: we can progressively get closer, but we never possess complete knowledge or attain absolute perfection.

That is an important perspective when we consider impostor syndrome. We are continually trying to bring our perception of ourselves into alignment with reality. Sometimes our self-perception is inflated. At other times, it is painfully diminished. The goal is not to convince ourselves that we are better than we are, nor to persuade ourselves that we are worse. The goal is accuracy.

Even two magnets provide a useful metaphor. Depending upon how they are oriented, they either attract or repel one another. The problem may not be with the magnets themselves but with getting the right ends lined up. In much the same way, impostor feelings can arise when our perception of ourselves is not properly aligned with the evidence of reality.

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Published by sparedbygrace@yahoo.com

I am Richard Brewer—a Christ-follower, psychologist, husband, father, grandfather (Papa) sometimes writer, and lifelong student of people. For much of my professional life, I've had the privilege of sitting with people as they wrestle with some of life's most difficult questions—questions about faith, suffering, grief, relationships, identity, failure, hope, and what it means to live well. Those conversations have changed the way I see people and the way I understand my own faith. They have taught me that life is rarely as simple as our explanations of it, that people are almost always more complicated than they appear, and that sometimes the wisest response to a difficult question is to empathize and to keep asking better questions. I am a committed Christ-follower, but I am not interested in pretending that Christianity eliminates mystery or that faith means having an answer for everything. Faith invites us to pursue truth honestly, to think deeply, to acknowledge what we do not know, and ultimately to trust the God we do know. Mediocre Meanderings is where I explore some of those questions. I write about faith and psychology, grief and suffering, leadership and relationships, aging and ordinary life—and occasionally whatever else catches my attention along the way. I do not write from the perspective of someone who has figured life out. I write as someone who has lived enough of it to know that I have not. These are my thoughts, questions, observations, and occasional attempts at wisdom. Take what is useful. Challenge what is not. And, if you would like, meander along with me.