Autobahn extension


A construction project in Germany was started to lengthen the German federal motorway known familiarly as the Autobahn. In doing so, it was necessary to move a very old cemetery. It was controversial because some very famous musicians had been buried there. Archaeological curiosity, being what it is, it was decided that some caskets would be opened. Several musicians were discovered to be decomposing. In other caskets, only bones remained. Some museum archaeologists decided to reassemble the skeletal remains. The lead archaeologist made it very clear that only one reassembly was desired: “If is not Baroque, don’t fix it.” This left the other archaeologists incensed and feeling flat. “Shouldn’t you take it up with the rest of the staff” were the disgusted retorts. The lead archaeologist, being very well versed in the field, retorted in a sharp tone, “I take note of your displeasure, but it is I who have the finale say.”

Upon completion of the Autobahn extension, a big celebration was planned. Several celebrities were invited. Of those, three aging action heroes were showcased: Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Having been told of the musicians whose graves were opened, each of the aging men decided to dress up like musicians. Willis decided he would be Beethoven, Stallone decided to be Tchaikovsky. Arnold very loudly proclaimed, “I’ll be Bach!” The celebration was a great success as evidenced by the chorus of cheers. And, as Paul Harvey would say, “That is the rest of the story”.

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